Aside

My new #sidehustle

Over the past few months, Holls and I have been hard at work to bring a new club night to London, and finally Lip Sync Ldn is here! This Thursday, we will be bringing the hit TV show Lip Sync Battle to Queen of Hoxton – and YOU could be crowned the MVP 🏆 Check out the full event listing here – hope to see some of my beautiful readers there 🙂

working girl london lip sync ldn

How to Talk to a Partner with Serious Money Problems

How to Talk to a Partner with Serious Money Problems

working girl london guest post money problems
This is a guest post from Yaakov Smith, Founding Manager of Logican Solutions

How would you broach the topic of debt with your loved one? You may have noticed worrying behavioural patterns in your partner, such as overspending and a lack of regard for budgets. You might feel that it is your responsibility to let your partner know that you are present, and willing, to help.

Despite your good intentions, debt is a difficult area to navigate. You may be worried that your partner could get defensive or even angry, but don’t feel like you are overstepping your bounds. At this time, it is likely that your partner is looking for help and guidance. They may not know where to start. They may feel ashamed or withdrawn as a result. The best possible thing you can do for your partner and for their financial future is to address the situation head-on and offer a helping hand whenever you can.

Before going full steam ahead, read this article and prepare yourself. It is important for us as a society to overcome the taboo of debt, but money-related discussions should be sensitive and considered. Only once you get everything out in the open can you begin to explore debt management options.

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Monday Motivation: Make your own luck

Monday Motivation: Make your own luck

working girl london manifestation
Being a young professional woman in London has a huge number of challenges. We somehow need to put in the hours at work to get us that promotion while making time for the burgeoning London social scene. We have to make our often miserable pay cheques (thanks a lot, pay gap) stretch far enough that we can feed ourselves despite paying some of the most expensive rents in the world. And while we play the constant balancing act, we all have those friends who seem to be doing just fine…more than fine in fact! They are doing amazingly well at their dream job, eating out every night, and every outfit they wear is supremely Instagrammable. Some people are just lucky, right? And we’ve all heard the saying ‘you create your own luck’ but nobody has taught us how!

I’ve done some reading up on the power of positive thinking lately and this is something that a lot of successful people live by. I’m not entirely sold on the idea (I do think there are a lot of factors outside of our control that contribute to our success or lack thereof which cannot be ignored) but one aspect – manifestation – does seem to make a lot of sense. While, manifestation is something that is usually viewed from a spiritual angle with the idea that ‘the universe provides’, it still places the onus on us as individuals to be more focused on our needs, and that can only be a good thing! If we can all see the bigger picture and focus our energy in the right direction, minimizing distractions and negative thoughts, then we can manifest our wishes to come true. Of course, manifestation isn’t about simply wishing we were wealthier or that we might bump into Idris Elba and have him fall madly in love with us…it’s all about identifying the things that are truly important in your life and in the lives of others. Especially from a careers point of view, this can have a huge impact on your path. Celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Oprah Winfrey have even raved about manifesting and they have enviable career success to show for it.

But what about us normal people? How can the average working girl use manifestation to improve her life?
working girl london manifest money

Manifest Money…
So, I know I just said that manifestation wasn’t for wishing wealth, however, many of us will find ourselves in a sticky financial position at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, women are more susceptible to debt, and even bankruptcy, than men and money is a real need rather than a want in these situations. Being clear and realistic about the situation you’re in and then focusing your mind on getting out of it is the best way to manifest for this situation. Will money suddenly be handed to you just because you are in need? No. However, acknowledging that you are in need will cause you to look at different opportunities and situations in a new light. For example, freelancing opportunities you might have otherwise ignored can help you with some extra income. Your spending habits will change. Your unshakable belief that you are worth more will push you to ask for that pay rise. If you’re a gambler, you may even find that your luck changes because you are playing more intelligently. A lot of online gambling sites and competitions are simply a numbers game – for example you could make your own luck playing online scratchcards, and maybe even win the jackpot on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire. There is a huge added advantage with some sites even giving you a helping hand, matching a deposit amount of up to £500 for new players! There is a surprising amount of content floating around about manifestation in specific relation to money, with tips ranging from everything to smelling money to ‘sending loving energy to the flow in and out’ 😳 I’ll keep my thoughts on those tips to myself but one thing is for sure – setting an intention and focusing your mindset will help you to create your own luck.

Manifest Change…
Sometimes in life we know about the changes that we need to make to be happier, but there may be several blockages in our way to get there. If we can focus on the end result, then manifestation naturally begins the journey to gently remove the blockages that are holding us back. We should never give up on our dreams or wishes But, equally, we shouldn’t just sit back and expect s*** to happen. You have to be the catalyst, even if it is simply a shift in the way you think.

There are times when we know that we need a change but don’t know quite what it is. Being mindful of your own thoughts and feelings, and really taking the time to do almost a life audit is the first step in manifestation, and can help to reveal to you the changes that need to be made. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you have to have 100% of the answers before you begin using manifestation. To the contrary, it can help you figure a lot of things out! If you have an end goal in sight but don’t know what you need to do to get there, this process can bring to light the changes you can make now to get you on the right path.

working girl london manifestation

Where do I start?
If, like me, you’re a bit of a skeptic, try just using manifestation in a careers context. This was my first experience with it and, gradually, I’ve started to use it in other areas of life. Push your negative thinking and cynicism to the side, just for a few moments and follow these steps:~

1. Think about what you already have, then what you need and focus clearly on it for a few minutes.
2. Make sure that what you want or need is thought of with good intention (don’t be greedy!) and is realistic (that’s not to say it isn’t ambitious!)
3. Take a pen and paper and write a bullet point for each need – if there are relevant time frames, write them down too. This will help when you look back to see how much you have achieved!
4. Read your points out loud a few times. Put the piece of paper away in a safe place. If at any point, you need to remind yourself of your direction, get the paper out again and read through it. Don’t be afraid to make changes if life throws you a curve ball!
5. Set reminders on any milestone dates you set for yourself so you can look back and see your progress, or reevaluate for the future.

Manifestation has worked for so many people. And different people look at it in different ways. Some people truly believe that the universe is answering their wishes as it were. I believe that the practice of manifestation gives us the focus and energy we need to attract the right opportunities to us and then the drive to see them through. However you explain it, we can create our own luck by trusting that what we need will happen for us. Don’t wait for it to just happen, ask for it, put it out there, take the right actions and believe that it will come to you…

What are your thoughts and experiences with manifestation? Let us know in the comments 🙂

 

 

Why all your friends are doing better than you

Why all your friends are doing better than you

working girl london friends
If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.
– Charles de Montesquieu

We just can’t stop comparing ourselves to each other. At school, you compare your grades to your friends (and if you’re from an African family ‘So and so got A so why did you get B?’ is all too familiar!), you wonder why you’ve hit puberty before/after your friends, university choices look better or worse depending on where your classmates are going…and this incessant competition doesn’t stop there. Being a twentysomething is stressful. None of us really know what we’re doing – have we chosen the right job, are we living in the right city, should we be in this relationship? Nobody can tell us the answer to these questions and so we fall into the old trap – comparing ourselves to others. If you rely on his method to assess how well you’re doing in life, you’ll never be happy. Here’s why.

Social Media Lies
We all know deep down that what we see of others on social media isn’t their real life – it’s the life they want everyone to think they have. We know this because we all do it! So why is it that when others seem to be doing ‘better than us’ or having ‘more fun than us’ on social, we take it as the truth? If you flick through my Instagram, it looks like I’m constantly out and about, loving life. And while that is partly true, what you can’t see the break up I went through recently or the insomnia that sometimes turns me into a zombie 💤 High social media use has recently been linked to depression, as “highly idealized representations of peers on social media elicits feelings of envy and the distorted belief that others lead happier, more successful lives”.  Just remember to take everything you see online with a pinch of salt.

People Lie
When you see an old friend, or even a current friend, and they say ‘everything is awesome’ they’re probably lying. Again, think about yourself. Perhaps your job isn’t quite going the way you want it to, you may be suffering a loss or illness, you may even be going through serious financial difficulties. How many of our friends have you shared this with? Unfortunately, we’re conditioned to always show ourselves as happy, successful women who don’t complain or let themselves give in to negative feelings. This is so unhealthy. In order to deal with negativity, we have to acknowledge it – and a big part of that is sharing it with those we love and trust. The next time you’re catching up with friends, share the truth of what’s going on in your life, not just the latest restaurant you ate out at…and you might find that, as well as being way more supportive than you imagined, they open up some wounds of their own.

working girl london you do you

You Do You Boo
I remember a while ago there was a week or two where it seemed everyone was getting engaged. ‘Everyone’ meaning about 5 people on Facebook, probably only 2 of them people I could actually call friends. I threw a hissy fit claiming I was going to die alone. My best friend’s response – ‘would you really want to get married right now?’ Me, indignantly: ‘Maaaaybe’. Her response: ‘Okay, would you want to get married to any of those men?’ Point taken. You might think others have their lives sorted because they have the perfect job, perfect fiancée, they’ve just bought a house, they’re jetting off on holiday. But do you actually want any of that? Of course we’d all love to be flying to Barbados but what have they given up to do that? Or who is buying that holiday for them? Or are they flying to Barbados with the weight of the world on their shoulders? We all know the much quoted ‘be yourself, everybody else is taken’ and, especially in this world of obsessive celebrity culture, we need to keep reminding ourselves of this.

working girl london baggage

We all have baggage
There’s an American TV show called Baggage. It’s a dating show, where each contestant has three suitcases; small, medium and large. In each, is a card stating a piece of ‘baggage’ they have – the size of the suitcase corresponding to the seriousness of the baggage. It could be anything from ‘I have 3 children by 2 baby mamas’ to ‘I’m $500,000 in debt’. As well as being a hilarious show (obvs, it’s hosted by Jerry Springer) it also drives home an important point. Everyone has their own baggage. Everyone has their own s*** to deal with. If you’re too busy looking at what other people have and wishing you were them, your s*** will not get dealt with. Focus on yourself, set your goals based on what you want to achieve and how best you can do it, and go get it girl.

Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others too much? What’s your advice for overcoming it?